“Asteroid Crossing – Mt. Vernon Solar Tourist Society”

I love colleges. They’re such great places to find dorky signs. This is compliments of Cornell College in Mt. Vernon, Iowa. There’s an identical sign on the opposite side of the street – apparently asteroids need a very narrow crosswalk. I’d like to know more about solar tourism, myself.

“Extreme Fire Hazard. Don’t Even Fart In The Forest”

What I’d really like to know is how they plan to enforce this one?

“Excuse me ma’am, I’ve detected the odor of cabbage and brimstone here on your campsite. Is that just your charming personality, or are you flatulent?”

Keep earth green - eat more animals!

“There’s plenty of room for all God’s creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.”

I love Canadians. As you’ll see over the next few days, they have all the best signs.

“Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean. Gentlemen: Your aim will help. Stand closer – it’s shorter than you think. Ladies: Please remain seated for the entire performance.”

Things grownups ought not need to be reminded about, but nevertheless. The fact that people miss the pot is big news these days. Just ask CNN who put the story of The Tinkler on the front page of their website awhile back.

One of the services my office provides is media placement in national magazines. One of the magazines we place is Meeting Professionals International, which helps people who plan meetings find locations and diversions for the groups of people they’re trying to herd. I got this month’s issue in the mail and nearly wet my pants laughing. So these signs aren’t real – oh well! It’s the thought that counts.

Holistic Health Conference: Tranquility and Deep Silence Session

vs.

The Shrieking Eels Vocalist Auditions

International Feral and Infectious Animal Management Demonstration

vs.

Little Miss World Gala

The Greenest Meeting Ever!

vs.

Fossil Fuels are the Future!

Does anyone else think it’s funny that the picture of the “feral and infectious” animal seems to be a small, yappy dog? Hehehe.

Welcome to a special post. Though I have since relocated, I spent four years of my life in Cedar Rapids, Iowa attending Coe College for my bachelor’s degree. Friends still living in the area have been posting updates about the flooding, and I am most impressed with how generally optimistic most of them are being. Not to make light of what is truly a disaster, I nevertheless have some pretty amazing shots to post which, coincidentally, involve signs. Check it out, and if you like, check out the rest of Lonnie’s amazing pictures.

Signs, signs everywhere, but not a road in sight. If you brought your boat, though, you’ll be very well directed.

And when the water went down, suddenly the intersection became a railroad tie depot. At least the stop sign is no longer optional.

“Slow! Heavy child traffic.”

We’ve all seen the “slow children crossing” sign, but I thought this little gem, from Lead, South Dakota, added an extra dimension. I sat around and waited, hoping a chubby child would show up so I could get the perfect shot, but to no avail.

“Learn to fly here… but not over here.”

From our friends at icanhascheezburger.com

“Attention Dog Guardians: Pick up after your dogs. Thank you. Attention Dogs: Grrrrr, bark, woof. Good dog.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little sick of having to read signs in two languages just to humor the furry minorities. Sheesh.

In other news, Canada appears to have more than its fair share of cool signs.

“ALUMINUM: Helping Burned & Crippled Children”

Kind of like ducks help astronauts?

(Though really, if you want the answer, check out the Shriner’s aluminum tab program.)